Use the following guideline to rewrite the provided email.

A guideline to write a professional email:

  • Getting straight to the point quickly (Appropriate greetings is OK)
  • Keeping the whole email brief
  • Using short sentences instead of long ones.
  • Having a short but informative subject.
    1. “System requirement meeting, 2:30pm, Conference room” is better than “Meeting”
  • Avoiding “reply to all” unless necessary.


The problematic email:

Subject: Heads up






Hi all CIS PhD Students:


Hope you guys have been doing well in the past summer. It has been a long time. I know, but I have been meaning to tell you just how supportive and awesome you guys have been in the past semesters. Although it has not been very helpful to my daily job (LOL) – I enjoy meeting with all of you in class.

Dr. Bill Carpenter, chair of Finance and Quant Methods and under whose purview the undergrduate AN program falls, has asked that I arrange for all of you to be put through a training session on the Connect-Plus Course Management System offered by MCGraw Hill.


Connect-Plus is a system that provides Homework and Exam Problems/questions, has various settings (e.g., provide hints, show examples, etc) to guide students through problem-solving/learning, and collects and grades the problems/questions for an instructor and provides student feedback. It can also communicate with Blackboard, most notably by posting grades to Bb. It also captures and makes available a lot of “analytics” information about the students using it that is valuable to instructors.


Since all of you very likely will be TAs or educators at one point or another, Bill wants all of you to be exposed to Connect-Plus Training. I am attempting to arrange a training session with McGraw-Hill tech support whereby a Connect-Plus expert will come and lead us through all of its features and capabilities, hopefully in a laboratory setting like the BEIC lab downstairs.


To make this as facile as possible, I need to try and schedule things (a) when you are free (b) when the McGraw Hill person is free, and (c) when the lab is free. So, I am asking each of you to provide me with information where you note when you CANNOT be available for a, say, (maximum) 2-hour session for this training. I would (i) encourage you to be as flexible as possible in saying when you absolutely CANNOT be available and (ii) encourage you to also include this information for a Saturday or a Sunday (in case these turn out to be the only feasible possibilities taking all constraints into account). From the MCGraw Hill side, I know that they want to finish this in the 3rd or 4th week of October, so provide information for Oct 15 through Nov 7, please (I am allowing 1 extra week).


Please respond at the earliest by return email.


With thanks,


University of ABC



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